I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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