She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
