I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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