Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
