He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
