i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
