i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
this will be a night to untag.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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