The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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