We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
