College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
