is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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