My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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