did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
