I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize