There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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