I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i believe in u and ur pee
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
