I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
