Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
