She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
