U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
