Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
