What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
