At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you had me at cake vodka
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
false alarm, still single
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
