Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
