btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
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