turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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