Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
