im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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