Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
