Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
