i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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