guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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