is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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