Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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