Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
