I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
