We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
