is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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