he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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