I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
