he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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