really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
