She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He felt like a one man threesome
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
