How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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