Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
