i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we're so committed to being not committed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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