I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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