Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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