too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
