Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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