I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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