I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
