Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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