Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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