He kissed a someone with a penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
