The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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