I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
