Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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