i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
