am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
